The Career Woman: A Misconception

Career Woman

If you are familiar with or grew up anywhere near conservative Christianity or the homeschool movement, you know "The Career Woman." She most likely does not homeschool her children, she is believed to not love God or her family as much as she should, and she certainly does not have her priorities in the right order. She is captivated by the idea of worldly success and her selfishness keeps her from making the sacrifices necessary to being a godly woman/wife/mother. She is placed in contrast to the more ideal woman who does not succumb to these "pressures" from the world outside her home. This woman is not distracted by outside ambition and she is more pleasing to the Lord because her aspirations lie almost solely within her home.

Sound familiar?

Of course there are women who spend the majority of their time in the home and don't pursue careers, yet they don't consider themselves more pleasing to the Lord simply on account of this. I appreciate you. I do not think any less of the woman who is not pursuing a career and is instead home raising precious children and nurturing a hard-working husband. I don't claim to know my future, and that life may be in it someday. That is not who this is about.

Several months ago I came across a blog post that spoke of the godly trophy wife every woman is supposed to want to become in contrast to our above-mentioned "Career Woman." It wasn't anything I hadn't heard before, and I wasn't particularly shocked by anything it contained...for the most part. It talked about how as Christian wives we are called to take care of our husbands, homes, children if we have them, etc. I don't disagree. It got offensive, however, when it started down the path of saying that these things can't be done if a woman has a job outside the home. In this specific instance it was just talking about a wife with no kids taking care of her husband, and the author straight up said that if you are holding the standard 9-5 job, you are not able to be a good wife. Come again?!

And this is the idea I disdain. Keep in mind, at this point we're just talking about a woman with a job, much less a woman pursuing a career. But let's go ahead and talk about that big bad word: Career. What does it mean? If you type "define: career" into Google this is what you'll get:"An occupation undertaken for a significant period of a person's life and with opportunities for progress." If I think about the meaning of this word in the context of my own life I realize that I am pursuing a career. Listen, everyone: I am a career woman. I have professional goals I want to achieve and I don't plan on just letting them dissolve after I have kids. I'm not even getting into the question of homeschooling right now, or how many hours a week you have to be home to be considered a "devoted enough" wife or mother. At this point in my life, that is irrelevant. Right now, I am a career woman and I am not ashamed of that. I am not just biding my time until I become impregnated and can finally start fulfilling my real calling. I am pursuing a career, and guess what - I can do that without sacrificing my femininity, without sacrificing my husband, and without sacrificing my God.

So why does the idea of a career woman carry such a negative connotation, and how can we start overcoming that misguided notion? You may contend, "But there are women who care about their careers more than their families and who will stop at nothing to be on top of their professional worlds even if it means neglecting the most important people in their lives!" Yes, there are women like that. And it may be one of the saddest things in the world. So instead of deciding that it's more holy to avoid a career, how about be the career woman who gets it right? Who pursues - yes, pursues her career without shame but still keeps her life in balance and shows her family that they are still the most important thing in the world to her. My husband knows that nothing in this life will be more valuable to me than he and our family is, but he is secure enough to encourage me in my pursuits and help me advance in my profession. He realizes that it doesn't have to be either/or, and I think it would behoove a lot of people in the conservative Christian community to realize the same. 

Of course you may say that all of this is really easy for me to say when I don't have kids, and that I have no idea the craziness that ensues when they come. I bet you're right. And this is another topic for another day, but I think there are options for moms who still have career goals in mind. There are a lot of options. But my point right now is, Ladies, please don't be afraid of being a career woman. It doesn't bite. I'm here to encourage you if you've experienced the negative, judgmental sentiments that we receive from time to time. And I'm here to encourage us all to break the barriers of preconceived notions, engrained prejudices, and "righteous indignation" against the misconceived career woman. We're not as cold-hearted and selfish as a lot of people think.